I LOVE Boobs

20 Oct

Here’s the deal: boobs are awesome.

Anyone who knows me well enough will attest to me finding them wonderful, lovely, and fascinating. Sure, they may have a practical use you may or may not employ them for, but the rest of your life they’re just little bags of fun. Or in my case, big bags of fun. What can I say, I’m a boob enthusiast. Boobs were always a big part of my life, but on July 21st they became even more important to me. Why? Because when I got in the shower that night I felt a lump on one of them. I was very lucky. My oldest friend is a med student and his dad is a doctor as well. They helped calm me down. They referred me to a great breast center. My boobs were thoroughly examined, sonogrammed, and ultimately biopsied over a couple of days. Ultimately it ended up being a benign cyst and I walked away with relief and the knowledge that it may happen again if I ever treat them roughly (no way Jose), or smoke (not in a million years). My love of breasts renewed, I saw them with new eyes. My boobs are awesome. The small scar in one of them is a reminder of a time when they got a little out of control, which is bound to happen when you’re carrying powerful weapons like those.

So, here’s the deal. Had it been something malign, early detection would have been key. So, what I’m trying to tell you all is this: ladies, feel yourselves up. The best way to notice if something isn’t kosher with your fun bags is familiarizing yourself with how they normally look and feel. A great way to do this is in the shower. Get some soap on your lovelies and rub your hands all over them. The soap will help your hands glide easier. A lot of us have fibrous breasts, which means we will have little bumps knots. The key thing is to feel them often so we notice any change in them. There are a lot of great charities out there related to breast health; Planned Parenthood, Susan G. Komen, Bright Pink, they all work in different ways to keep you and your girls happy and healthy. Look them up. Or find others. But above all, PLEASE, feel yourselves up. Cop a feel. Fondle those fun bags. Be good to them. I wish every woman in the world would touch herself this way. It is vital. It could really save your life.

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